


Going Dumb (We're All Loca!)

by dominhos_pizza



Series: MINSUNG BINGO ROUND TWO COLLECTION [3]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: A lot of hell references oof, Basketball Player Lee Know, Fluff and Crack, I Tried, I hate tagging, Inspired by a fic, M/M, Oblivious Lee Minho | Lee Know, Playgrounds, Puns & Word Play, Skater Han Jisung | Han, Sorry Not Sorry, Third Party Meddling, Told From Jeongin's Perspective, Whoops political joke against the right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 20:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30144894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dominhos_pizza/pseuds/dominhos_pizza
Summary: Jisung is an skater boy who dreams of love. Minho is a basketball jock who loves food.The problem is that Jisung has a crush on Minho, but Minho doesn't realize it. So, Jeongin takes matters in his own hands and concocts the legendary plan.After all, if this tension went any longer, all of their friends will go loca. Jeongin's sanity is already gone anyway.TL;DR: Jeongin decides that two of his friends are idiots when it comes to love and helps them get together with their help of Felix.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Series: MINSUNG BINGO ROUND TWO COLLECTION [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2201067
Kudos: 33
Collections: MINSUNG BINGO: Round Two





	Going Dumb (We're All Loca!)

**Author's Note:**

> Bingo squares: Boxer, Skater Boys, Grow Up, Third Party Meddling/Matchamkers, AU - Neighbors

Even if it was a long time ago, Jeongin still remembers the day that Jisung and Minho met. For Jeongin, it was the day hell took over the universe in the form of the most conspicuous flirting banter Jeongin has ever seen. Pick-up lines, dad jokes, corny wordplay -- they did it all.

Jeongin wishes he never saw that day, yet here he is, standing in the middle of every last crossfire.

Jeongin is fascinated in all things words, but, when it comes to Minho and Jisung, he can’t stand the ones that come out of their mouths. Friends of both of them have tried to convince Jeongin in the past that Minho and Jisung’s flirty banter were actually good but to no avail.

“They’re actually original,” Chan, a friend of Minho’s, said one time to Jeongin.

Little did Chan know, the pick-up line that Jisung randomly quoted out of the air and the one that Minho followed with are the first two pick-up lines one sees when searching ‘flirty pick-up lines’ on the Internet.

Felix, a friend of Jisung’s, tried to convince him as well. “They’re funny.”

Felix was not wrong about that, but the word-plays are funny in the worst way possible. They make everyone snicker from how pathetic they are. Every time any type of wordplay comes out of Jisung and Minho’s mouths, Jeongin wants to crawl into a dumpster and wishes that an irrational passerby randomly just sets the dumpster on fire.

This time around, both friend groups are at the playground near the local elementary school. Minho and Jisung spit their wordplay among insults in the middle of the sandbox. Chan and Changbin, Minho’s besties, sit at the blue plastic bench, resting their boomer legs. As for Minho’s friends, they hid inside of the plastic playhouse, only taking quick peeks outside of it just to see some Minho and Jisung drama.

Jeongin, the closest of everyone to Minho and Jisung, just idly sits on a swing, lightly lifting his feet to create the slightest momentum to move the swing. He holds his head in his hands, facepalming at the amount of stupidity Minho and Jisung have in their heads. 

This is humiliating, especially since there are plenty of children around to witness.

“McDonald’s is the superior fast food restaurant.”

Minho fake gags at the statement. “Excuse me bitch, who said that? You need to fact-check whatever the hell you just said. You sound like Donald Trump right now.”

Jeongin shakes his head. There’s one. 

“Ew, no. He nasty.” Jisung fans his face with his hand, swatting away a fly. “Don’t remind me of that hoe.”

“Didn’t Donald Trump hook up with hoes though?”

“You’re right, but you know what is even better? Potatoes. He totally hooked up with them too.” Some random toddler claps their hands at Jisung’s statement. Jeongin just continues to shake his head once more. That’s two. 

“You’re being sexist towards potatoes!”

“Really?” Minho tilts his head. “When? I didn’t specify gender. I just mentioned that the orange peel hooks up with potatoes!”

“Poor Minho, he should read more! He’s not knowledgeable enough” Jisung laughs.

“Ugh, I should. Actually, I’m reading a book called anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”

Scratch the fact about Jeongin wishing that he was born. He wished he didn’t exist.

###

All Jeongin wants to know is whose idea it was to seat the two crazy friend groups next to each other on a bus ride. 

“Receive has an E before and I,” Minho randomly says as he reads from his book. Jisung, who is sitting alone in the seat across from Minho’s, raises an eyebrow. 

“No, it’s I before E, remember? That’s the rule and the rule always goes.”

“Rules are always meant to be broken!” 

Minho dramatically gasps. “So, now you’re going to break the rule of peaceful nature and allow murder?”

“Are you an idiot? You know I didn’t mean that.”

“You know, murder is a good thing…”

Minho sharply interrupts him from what Jeongin can see. “In what way?”

“Well, you stole my heart and murdered it. That’s a first.”

There comes a brief moment of silence before Jeongin interrupts it. “You two, shut the hell up and get a room.”

“We’re on a bus.” Jisung smirks.

Sometimes, Jeongin has this temptation to sock his hyung in his face. Today is one of those days. 

### 

Then came that time where Jeongin and Felix accompanied Minho and Jisung to a skatepark. It was, as usual, hell.

Felix is a cheeky S.O.B. Apparently, he decided that he wanted to rile Minho and Jisung up to get rid of the sexual tension that was always hanging around them by a bet. In particular, this bet challenged Minho to try a skateboard and, if he managed to be better than Jisung at skateboarding, Minho would get free food.

Minho is the type of person who would do basically anything for free food.

And, of course, what made it worse? Jisung is competitive as hell, and skateboarding is one of the many activities that Jisung prides himself to be the best on. Put two and two together, and welcome to whatever this chaos is.

“Heh, Minho, no food for you.” Jisung snickers as he watches Minho fail a skateboard flip for the umpth time.

“Excuse me? Jisung, I will be better than you, just you wait!”

“Sure,” Jisung rolls his eyes as he watches Minho try again, failing once more.

“What the hell. Jisung, what do you mean sure?”

“Oh, wait, sorry. I meant naur.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ll find out.”

Minho stomps over to Jisung, but there is a bit of an issue. “Come here you --”

And next thing he knows, Minho is stumbling over a skateboard and falling right into Jisung’s arms. The two of them collapse onto the cement floor of the skatepark, Minho being right on top of Jisung.

Felix and Jeongin, from a distance, watched the awkward moment with attentiveness, noting the red blush on both of their faces.

Jeongin wasn’t sure if Felix knew or not, but he definitely knows that the two of them like each other. For Jeongin, the answer was undisputable. He just wishes that their relationship didn’t have to be like this though. 

### 

The only word that Jeongin can use to describe Minho and Jisung’s relationship is infuriating.

As Jisung’s neighbor and being a house away, he knows Jisung’s secrets, every last one. He even knows about the ones dealing with Minho.

And, yes, those were the bane of Jeongin’s problems. Those were the ones that broke Jeongin’s soul.

Jisung likes Minho.

Yes, it’s sad and pathetic, but it’s true. It’s a miracle that Minho is oblivious to Jisung’s feelings and that none of Jisung’s friends have spilled the beans to Minho yet. Jeongin knows, at very minimum, that Felix knows, and Felix is known to be a blabbermouth. Jisung must have made a deal to keep his mouth shut then.

How does he know? Well, Jeongin lives a house away from Jisung’s and he happened to hear a very interesting conversation between the two.

“Oh my gosh, you should have told me this earlier, Jisung! You have a crush on him?”

Jeongin, who was lying wide-awake in his bed, couldn’t help but to eavesdrop.

“Yeah, I’ve tried to subtly tell him about my feelings for him for a while, but he doesn’t seem to pick up any hints.”

“Don’t worry about that, Minho fits the motto for a blunt and oblivious basketball jock. He’ll get it someday.”

“And what if he doesn’t?”

“Then, you will tell him yourself, won’t you?”

“...maybe? If I had the guts to, at least.”

“I’ll help you when that day comes.”

“How about we stretch the plan to a month? If it’s still going that long, I will confess.”

There was a loud slap and the sound of Jisung coughing. “Atta boy.”

Jeongin feels bad for Jisung for going through stuff like this.

###

The next time Jeongin sees Minho and Jisung by each other is at the indoor main gym two weeks later. Jeongin watches the two of them and secretly pays attention to Felix’s reactions from the corner of his eye. With the new knowledge he gained secretly that time ago, Jeongin’s been noticing more things than he should.

“Hey,” Jisung introduces himself to Minho by ‘stealing’ his basketball. Once he takes hold of it, he grips it with two hands and runs off with it. Minho runs after him after he realizes his basketball was stolen.

“Get back here, sly squirrel!”

Jisung turns back and sticks his tongue out. “No way, you fucker! Come after me if you want it!”

Minho sprints across the basketball court to where Jisung was with record speed. Jisung squeals when he sees Minho in his vision, and runs even quicker than he has before.

The basketball court, compared to where Jeongin is sitting, is on a lower floor. To exit the basketball court and the gym in general, Jisung has to go up stairs and cross the exit in the top left corner of the entire area.

To Jeongin’s disbelief, Jisung is double-stepping stairs even when cradling a basketball in his hands and is out of the gym. Minho screams playful curses as he’s climbing those exact stairs and chases after him.

“JISUNG, YOU SQUIRREL, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!”

Jeongin giggles at the sight. Minho really has no clue on Jisung’s intent, isn’t he?

###

Two weeks after that, on the last day of the month, Jisung still hasn’t confessed yet. Jeongin figures that he, Felix, and whoever knows of the plan would have come up with something by now. Apparently, it hasn’t come up to fruition yet.

Luckily, Jisung, Minho, and their two friend groups are together on this very sunny day. They play in the local park playground like elementary school children, which somehow isn’t very surprising to Jeongin.

Unlike all of the other times though, everyone gathers together at a specific place in the playground: the space-dome jungle gym. They stand on the outsides of the jungle gym looking in from the outside

Jeongin watches Felix nudge Jisung in the elbow. Hyunjin and Seungmin’s eyes take a quick glance at the two. 

Jeongin knows something is about to go down for sure.

Jisung inhales deeply before screaming. “WHOEVER CLIMBS THIS FIRST GETS FREE FOOD FROM THE PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE!”

And there it goes.

Chan and Changbin, Minho’s friends, are initially startled, but they get to climbing right after the shock disappears. Hyunjin and Seungmin climb the gym at a moderate pace, holding onto each other for balance. Felix climbs the gym like a monkey, but Jisung is quicker.

Jisung is climbing the jungle gym like a squirrel climbing a tree. Minho follows at the same speed, not going off a single step of Jisung’s footsteps. In the end, they meet up in the middle of the jungle gym.

What a predicament.

Jisung, from the top of the jungle gym, gives Felix a thumbs up and looks down before doing the unexpected.

Jeongin didn’t even expect this move himself.

Hyunjin and Seungmin stay where they are, as if they have planned something with Felix and Jisung. Their eyes are focused in the middle.

Jisung leans forward to peck Minho’s lips, meeting their lips together, before sliding down the sides of the jungle gym with Seungmin and Hyunjin’s assistance. Jisung runs to the park’s parking lot, picks up his skateboard, and gets going. Felix jumps off the jungle gym and follows Jisung. Hyunjin and Seungmin get in Hyunjin’s car, and Hyunjin drives off, following those two.

Jeongin takes a bite of his sandwich as he watches the ordeal happen. There’s confusion all over the three’s faces, and Jeongin can hear a bit of their conversation.

“Did Jisung seriously just kiss you and run off?” Chan asks in disbelief.

“What was that?” Changbin gasps.

Minho covers his mouth with his hand. “Oh my fucking god. He likes me back.”

That’s all Jeongin needed to hear. He finishes his sandwich rather quickly, puts his stuff in his lunch bag, and exits the park via a bicycle.

When he gets home, he sends a text to Felix.

“Oh, btw, Minho likes Jisung back. Don’t fret too much ;)”

Jeongin is very surprised that no one has screamed yet.

###

A half-hour later, Jeongin recognizes an eerily familiar car pulling up to Jisung’s house’s driveway. Jeongin knows whose car it is, but it’s unbelievable that the car’s owner would be here. And, out of luck, the driver’s door opens to reveal the exact guy Jeongin was thinking of. 

What the fuck is Minho doing at Jisung’s house?

Minho, in his classic basketball blazer, goes up to Jisung’s house’s porch and knocks on the door. From Jeongin’s view from his room’s window, he can’t see who’s at the door, but what he knows is that Minho nearly had a door slammed in his face. It seems like Minho’s saving grace is Felix, who is screaming his head off. Jeongin can hear the screams as clear as day.

“JISUNG! JISUNG! DON’T CLOSE THE DOOR ON HIM!”

“Wait, what, Felix?” Jisung’s hand is right on the doorknob, creaking the door just a slight bit.

“I got Jeongin’s text late! Whatever you do, don’t close the door on him!”

Did Felix seriously get Jeongin’s text just now? What has he been doing this entire time?

Jisung tilts his head slightly in confusion. “Why not?”

“It’s not something for me to say, but he has something to say to you.”

“Which is?”

“I like you, Jisung. I like you so much, and I hope that you feel the same.”

Felix shrieks from inside the house. Jeongin crosses his fingers, hoping that nobody from their neighborhood gives them a noise complaint. 

###

Jeongin has two thoughts in his mind.

1\. He’s happy that Minho and Jisung got together.  
2\. Hell has gotten twice as worse as it was before.

You see, hell for Jeongin earlier was classified as “stupid oblivious wordplay banter,” but now, that type of banter has grown into something more corny.

Jeongin is sitting in the gym on the balcony above the basketball court. He looks down to see Minho and Jisung flirting conspicuously in front of him. Gross.

Minho flawlessly swishes the basketball he’s holding into the hoop, and Jisung enthusiastically claps for Minho’s success.

“Oh my gosh! Honey, you’re so un-bee-lievable!”

“Am I though?”

“Yes, of course!”

“Well, you know what,” Minho gives a kiss to the top of Jisung’s head and pats it lightly. “You’ll always bee in my heart.” 

Jeongin almost vomited from the amount of cheesiness the two exude. They really have him going dumb, eh?

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: @chocolattewings


End file.
